As a photographer, I try very hard to be part of the reason everyone had fun at the wedding. 
The day is about the bride and groom- and although I will climb trees, lay down on the ground, etc, to get the shot, my goal is to be as “ninja” as possible. I aim to be polite and help people have fun in front of the camera. I was once a camera-shy person, and I know what it’s like! I love to party with everyone, and I pride myself in being warm and friendly.
But unfortunately, there are some “in your face” photographers. Have you had a bad experience with one?
A few weeks ago, I was speaking to a client, Leigh, about wedding photography, and we got into a discussion about wedding photographer etiquette. In talking about a bad experience Leigh had with a wedding photographer in the past, something she said struck a chord with me: ‘No one could see anything all day! He was in the way for EVERYTHING. Plus… he’s kind of a big guy, so it would have been so nice if he would have been more aware of where he was and considerate. It was like the whole day existed only for the photographer. None of us felt like it was actually an event for us to enjoy.’
This made me so angry! A wedding photographer’s job is to capture the emotion and events happening around them. How terrible to make people feel that they could not enjoy what was really important- celebrating the love of two people they cared about! This is called being an “in your face” photographer, and it’s a big reason why a lot of people have bad feelings toward wedding photographers. (this applies equally as well to “in your face” videographers!)
Ironically, only days later, I was in a conversation with a photographer, who we shall call John, in another part of the country. He had been a second shooter (an additional photographer hired by the “primary” photographer to assist in covering the wedding) for a professional in his area,who we will call Bill. Unfortunately, John was witness to an “in your face” photographer- the primary photographer, Bill. 
John was in the uncomfortable position of trying to remain inconspicuous as Bill made everyone feel uncomfortable (and probably angry!). John, amazed at Bill’s lack of respect, watched as Bill put himself in the way of guests and bridal party, set up distracting and unnecessary gear in awkward places, and fired flash after flash at very short range in people’s faces. John shared a few photographs he had taken with me, which he said I was welcome to share online:
In the first shot Bill, inappropriately dressed, has set up lighting and a step ladder (?) in the way of guests’ veiw. In the second, he sets up lighting about a foot away from the ceremony while it is going on! The ladies behind him don’t look pleased. With an entire room trying to watch the ceremony, this photographer is attracting far too much attention.
In discussing this, John stated: “All I could think about was how mad I would be if it were my wedding. This is just his general approach to a wedding. He is there to get every shot he wants and has no regard for the guests. I actually snapped these photos because I couldn’t believe this is how wedding photographers really worked (this was one of the first weddings I second shot for).”
As bad as I feel for John (I wouldn’t have wanted to be him), I felt worse for the bride and groom. Especially at such a stressful/wonderful time in their life, they should not have had this experience. I feel this is a reminder and reenforcement of what is important as a wedding photographer. Fellow wedding photographers: (new or not) No matter how important the photography is, the MARRIAGE is more important!! Being unobtrusive and courteous is not an option. Our job is a very emotionally connected one. We MUST make people feel comfortable and happy- or you’re not going to get “the shot”, because no matter how well it’s composed, everyone will be scowling!
Now, this is not to say that no one should be able to figure out where the photographer went to. 
Yes, there is times when the photographer must take charge (putting together group shots, asking people to step aside politely to get a crucial shot, suggesting to a bride and groom where the best place to stand in order to cut the cake is, etc), but being confident and being nice are not mutually exclusive.
So, all you photographers out there:
Being a photographer means being aware of your surroundings- both in order to not miss a shot, and in oder to make sure you’re not in everyone’s way. Have you developed this skill? The idea of all this has me thinking “how could I improve?”. Here are a few tips I have acquired on this subject:
- Have the proper gear. Having an appropriate zoom lens (based on the ceremony/reception location) will alleviate the biggest problems with this. There’s no need to be up on stage in front of the bride and groom (Yes, this does happen! Why?!) when you can sit in the back with a longer lens and get the same shot.
- Be quick. Sometimes there are just times when you have to be a bit in the way. Be brief as possible. A good example of this is the bridal procession (when the bridal party walks down the aisle). It is standard to get a photograph of each person walking down, and quite frankly, the only way to do this is to be in the aisle- but you only have to be there a moment with good preparation! I usually ask the bride and groom to reserve a second row aisle seat for me, so that I can sit there, slide into the aisle (crouched down so as not to block anyone), get the shot, and slide back into the chair.
- Be aware of who/what is around you. I have heard many photographers complain that there are folks that will want to take over the picture-taking, and tell the photographer to get out of their way. I know, I have been there. Obviously, this is a difficult situation, and the best solution is to try to be polite but firm. You have been hired to do the photography, and you must do so, even if that means standing up to rude people like that. But this is a totally different scenario from, say, blocking grandma’s view of her precious granddaughter dancing with her new husband. Be aware of people around (and especially behind) you!
- Be aware of your gear. Sometimes the location we shoot in plays the biggest part in deciding if extra lighting is needed, and if so, where. Yes, we have to think about where it will be the most effective- but give some thought to it’s placing for the benefit of the guests. For their sake, (and for the sake of your expensive gear!) be sure not to put gear in walkways, places that make it difficult for things to operate smoothly, or places that make it hard to see the bride and groom.
- There is never a need to blind people with flash. Let’s admit it, at some point *all* of us have done it by accident! It’s okay, and people will forgive you. But if you’re doing it all night long, you are not going to be popular. Learn your flash/ambient balance, and try to leave a proper distance between you and the subject.
- Dress properly. The above photograph illustrates a sad fact: some people do not represent themselves as a professional when shooting a wedding. Although it isn’t the thrust of this post, giving thought to what level of dress is expected and appropriate will be appreciated by the bride and groom and go a long way toward presenting a polished look. A lot of info can be found online regarding fashion norms and expectation, as well as how to balance “practical” with “appropriate”.
I would love to hear more tips from others in the field, or perhaps others that have had to deal with an “in your face” photographer. What would you add?
Brides and grooms: are you hiring an “in your face” photographer? Unfortunately, it can be hard to tell from first appearances. The best way to find out is to ask others that they have worked with! Ask for references when you’re looking for a photographer, and always ask: “Did he/she make you feel comfortable? Were they polite and unobtrusive? Did any of his/her behavior upset you?” Now, take it all with a grain of salt (some brides and grooms are unreasonably hard to please, unfortunately), but be a smart shopper. This is a very important thing to find out! You want to feel comfortable and happy with your photographer.
Happily, *most* photographers are already experts at the points in this post. They deal kindly and professionally, and want to make the wedding day fun and special! It’s a wonderful privilege to be in this line of work, and most of us show the respect it demands.
So… is your photographer an “in your face” photographer or a “ninja” photographer? I will always try my best to be a ninja. Hi-ya! *snap* 
Love!
-Heather K
PS: If anyone has snapshots of “in your face” photographers they would like to share, let me know. :)
